


Kaleidoscope

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-14
Updated: 2009-01-22
Packaged: 2019-01-19 14:59:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 7,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12412533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: [drabble] Fragments, snippets of two souls that combined as one. Two people, born into two different worlds. Two people, that found each other.





	1. Divination

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Author's Note:** So. New story. Just some drabble... something to add to when I get bored but am very uninspired. You know, I should really finish things before I start new ones...

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**1\. Divination**

"I can see the future, you know."

Lily gave him an odd look.

"And I care because?"

"You're in it, of course, my sweet Evans."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And would I happen to be hexing your backside from here to Pluto in this future you happen to be able to see?"

"In the most recent one, yes. But do you know what I saw in the one two years from now?"

Lily looked at him. _The_ James Potter, self-proclaimed 'Quidditch God', prankster, and her part-time stalker. She looked at him grinning at her, his hazel eyes sparkling with life behind those round spectacles of his.

She rolled her eyes and decided to humour him. "What did you see, Potter?"

"You and me, Evans. Happily married. And you're _fat_ in it."

Lily gasped in shock and began beating him around the head with her book. "How dare you insinuate that I am fat, Potter!"

James simply grabbed her wrists and grinned at her.

"Funny how you're more concerned about the fact that you're fat than the fact you're married to me."


	2. Secret Wish

**2\. Secret Wish**

It was rather unnerving, to wake up everyday, go down to breakfast, only to see James Potter grinning inanely at you.

"Alright, Evans?" he would ask everyday.

She would never dignify his question with a response, and simply stride on by huffily. He would yell something witty after her; she would occasionally throw a hex at him.

Once, his best friend said to her:

"You know, I'll remove that stick up your arse for free, Evans."

He opened his mail the next morning to find Bubotuber pus all over his hands.

But what they would never, ever know, was how much she looked forward to hearing those two words every morning. Two words that secretly made her day.


	3. Parasitic

**Author's Note:** Okay, maybe this one will seem a little gross, but I had a Biology class today on parasites... and it just kind of stayed in my head.

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**3\. Parasitic**

Lily Evans, he decided a long time ago, is like parasite.

She feeds and feeds and feeds on him, everything he is. His humour. His passion for life. His loyalty. His mind, body, and soul. But above all, she feeds on his heart.

She takes and takes and takes, never giving anything back. Sometimes it feels like his heart's being ripped out.

But one day, she smiles at him. Just a quirk of the lips and only for a brief second - but a smile nonetheless.

And he decides that this is one parasite that he never wants to get rid of.


	4. Invasion

**4\. Invasion**

"You want me."

She had looked up from her homework, face screwed up in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You. And me. And why you secretly want me."

She sighed, and put her quill down. "Humour me, then. Why?"

He smiled. He walked over to her. His shadow darkened her perspective for a moment, before he leant over, placing both hands either side of her, effectively trapping her in her chair. His face was hovering a mere inch from hers. She could feel his warm breath on her. She could feel the soft _thump-thump_ of his heartbeat.

She felt her breath catch in her throat and her cheeks flush.

He stood up, a smirk now present on his face.

" _That's_ why."


	5. Wisdom

**5\. Wisdom**

Mrs. Potter once commented their hands would blister and break if they didn't stop playing Quidditch so much.

Clearly she'd never heard of gloves.

Mrs. Potter once said that money wasn't everything.

He never quite understood why the Potters lived in a manor after that.

Mrs. Potter once mentioned that women loved men that knew how to cook.

She didn't mention that it helped if the food cooked didn't give the girl food poisoning.

Mrs. Potter once hinted that women loved men in uniform.

It didn't help that _every single boy_ at Hogwarts wore a uniform too.

Mrs. Potter once told James that Lily Evans would break someday.

And now, as Sirius watched James and Lily standing together before the minister at their wedding, he couldn't help but grin.

Mother knows best.


	6. Truth In Fantasy

**6\. Truth In Fantasy**

If they were born even just a few hundred years ago, she thinks, they could have become a fairytale.

She likes the idea of becoming a legend.

She could have been the princess trapped in her tower, and been rescued by the prince. They could have fought the evil, jealous sorceress. They could have saved the magic kingdom.

They could have fallen in love and lived happily ever after.

But it's the twentieth century and princesses don't get trapped in towers anymore. Women tend to do the rescuing themselves now. Evil people are more plentiful, subtle and sneaky. Worlds aren't saved in one day.

But, she muses, as she watches him laughing with his friends across the room, they could still fall in love and find their happily ever after.


	7. Simplicity

**Author's Note:** I've been a bit iffy with this one... so let me know what you think, because it would really help.

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**7\. Simplicity**

She thought he didn't care anymore.

It had been months since he'd even looked at her.

The first time she saw his arm draped around another girl's shoulders, her heart constricted and she felt like she couldn't breathe.

She picked a fight with him that night... and everything had come out.

"I miss you," she had whispered, before turning and running away from his stricken expression.

She found a single white rose on her bed the next day, with a note attached.

_For you._

_It's always been you._


	8. Emerald Eyes

**8\. Emerald Eyes  
**

She never did like the colour green.

It reminded her too much of jealousy, and Lily was not a jealous person.

It reminded her too much of inexperience, and that there was a big bad world out there. 

It reminded her too much of Sev, who let her down in the end.

It reminded her too much of slimy things, and she was never much of a slimy-thing person, Potions-usage aside. 

And, although she'd never admit this, it reminded her too much of Christmas (and made her feel depressed because it wasn't).

But James Potter complimented the colour of her eyes one day, and mentioned that it was his one of his favourite colours.

And suddenly she found herself wearing anything green she could find.


	9. Stardust

**Author's Note:** Title, and subsequent story, inspired by the film _Stardust_.

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**9\. Stardust**

" _Catch a falling star, and put it in your pocket..._ " 

She hummed quietly under her breath, gazing upwards at a brilliantly black canvas, dotted iridescently with tiny twinkling lights that could have been mistaken for diamonds.

She snuggled further into the soft, warm and comforting arms that surrounded her. 

He smiled and hugged her closer to him.

"If we saw a shooting star right now, what would you wish for?" Her soft voice paused in its tune and her eyes turned to him.

"Well, if I told you, it wouldn't come true then, would it?"

She laughed lightly, and turned her gaze back up to the sky. "I guess not." 

He closed his eyes.

_Make this moment last forever._


	10. Assumptions

**Author's Note:** This one seems a little confusing, even to me, so let me know if you don't understand anything. And it is a little AU-ish.

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**10\. Assumptions**

There was a time when she looked at James Potter and the words that spilled from her lips were ones of disgust.

(Everyone assumed that it was because she was eleven years old and still thought boys were smelly).

_Nobody knew what she said and what she thought were two different things._

There was a time when she looked at James Potter and declared him to be an arrogant toerag.

(Everyone assumed that it was because of the scene-by-the-lake fiasco).

_Nobody knew she secretly liked his arrogant toeragged-ness._

There was a time when she looked at James Potter and a brilliantly red blush spread across her cheeks.

(Everyone assumed it was because of the suggestive picture he had purposely pinned to his own back).

_Nobody knew it was because she had accidentally seen him without his shirt on the night before._

There was a time when she looked at James Potter and whispered that she thought she was falling in love with him.

(Everyone assumed it was because of the spiked Butterbeer. Or a love potion).

_Nobody knew they had started dating six weeks ago._

There was a time when she looked at James Potter with a beautiful smile spread across her face as she promised to love him, and be with him, forever.

(Everyone knew that it was the truth).

_Nobody assumed that she had this thought since she first met him._


	11. Spinning

**Author's Note:** Not my best work, but will be continued... 

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**11\. Spinning  
**

"You deserve better than him."

She looks up at the dark, angry eyes boring into her own. The last rays of the day's sunlight reflects from his glasses.

"I guess you heard then."

He snorts. "Of course I heard. The whole school did. The stupid git has a huge mouth."

She smiles, despite herself. "James, as much as I appreciate you bad-mouthing my ex, I have a feeling you didn't come here just to do that."

"Naturally." He drops to his knees in front of her. She's startled by just how intense his eyes are, giving her the impression that if the roof caves in right now, or if Dumbledore waltzes into the common room and announces that he's really a woman, James won't notice. 

"I came to tell you that he's not worth your tears, your pain, or the time that you spent on him. I came to tell you that he's a stupid idiot for letting you go. I came to tell that you deserve better. The best. You deserve the best. You deserve to be with someone that can fully and completely love you, and only you."

She watches him carefully, and senses nothing but genuinity. 

His eyes softens slightly, the anger fading, but he does not lose an ounce of that intensity.

"You deserve someone like me."


	12. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

**Author's Note:** This is continued on from the last chapter, _Spinning_.  


**~~~**~~**~~~**

**12\. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head**

The last time he saw her, he thinks, it was raining.

He thinks that if it had been any other person, any other year, that the sun would have come out to shine brightly on the last day of school. Symbolic for those optimistic young people, leaving school to join the real world.

But they had always been different.

It had rained that day, despite it being the end of June. Almost as if the skies were weeping because they knew of their upcoming parting.

It's raining today. 

Six months later, and still all he can think about is her. A flash of red, a glimmer of green, a rain shower, and Lily Evans invades his mind.

He sips his coffee and tries to concentrate on his book.

The door to the café jingles and cold air swarms in. He looks up momentarily, distracted.

He jolts in shock and suddenly his head are filled with images from what seems like a lifetime ago. A warm hug. A laugh. A fight. A ghost of a smile as she says goodbye.

She's here.


	13. Dreams

**Author's Note:** This is a completely separate drabble to the two before, in case you get confused. The _Spinning_ series will be continued... eventually.

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**13\. Dreams**

"I had a dream about you last night."

She didn't bother looking up from her book, knowing it was his way of trying to make up with her. She was still too mad at him to forgive him just yet. "Try not to make a habit of it."

He sat down beside her. "Don't you want to know what happened?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes, turning to him in preparation for some yelling. But just as she opened her mouth, she stopped. 

He was kneeling down in front of her, holding out a ring with a stunning solitaire diamond to her.

He smiled. "You were looking at me like that."

She blinked several times in rapid succession. "O...okay."

"And then you told me that you forgive me."

"I... I forgive you." 

"And that was when I asked you a question."

She was still speechless, gaping at him like a goldfish. He stood up, and placed the ring on her finger. He leant forward and whispered in her ear.

_Marry me, Lily._


	14. Desperately Seeking

**14\. Desperately Seeking**

She wants the kind of guy that will fall over himself just to make her smile - and he'll be happy doing it.

She wants the kind of guy that will try his hardest to understand her, even when she's in her weird, not-quite-in-this-world moods.

She wants the kind of guy that will surprise her constantly, with anything and everything. 

She wants the kind of guy that will hold the door open for her friends, for his mother, for _her_ mother, the random old lady on the street... and especially her.

She wants the kind of guy that will offer her his last square of Honeydukes' finest chocolate. Or even just his last piece of Drooble's. 

Her friends tell her that she's being too picky. She pretends to listen but she's really staring across the common room at someone else. He looks up from his own conversation and smiles at her... and her heart flip-flops.

She's found that kind of guy.

(And really, she just wants the kind of guy that will want her back).


	15. Heroes

**Author's Note:** Again, not my best work. Just something sweet and fluffy to fill my time.

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**15\. Heroes**

First sign came with the endless rounds of chess, played at all sorts of times, including the ungodly hours of the morning.

Second sign was the gallantly giving up of the comfy armchair by the fire, and the sitting on the cold stone floor instead (despite the fact that he could have just conjured a chair instead).

Third sign was the heads together whispering, occurring everywhere possibly - at meals in the Great Hall, in classes they shared, the common room...

Fourth sign was the touchy-feely-ness that begun harmlessly enough, until it spiralled out of control to a night where she was seated in his lap in the common room, absently tousling his dark hair while he ran his hand idly up and down her back.

Fifth sign was the flirtatious teasing that everyone was amused by at first, but felt sickened by after two days. 

In fact, the sixth sign came from the fifth, and was the most obvious of all: it came from a friend, who disgustedly commented for them to just 'go there already'.

Seventh sign was the hateful looks that Severus Snape was shooting her at every opportunity. They hadn't talked for years, yet he had never looked at her like that before. Apologetically, definitely. Coldly, sometimes. But never hateful.

After that, it was too obvious what they should do next.

Get together, get married, have a baby, and save the world, of course.


	16. Anonymity

**Author's Note:** Not the greatest drabble ever... but I like it. Ish.

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**16\. Anonymity  
**

"' _I give up_ ', Potter?"

He looked up at her standing over him with her arms folded across her chest. He saw the faintest sign of a piece of parchment in her left hand.

"What are you talking about?" 

"Your little note," she replied, her eyes flashing dangerously. "The one that you left on my bed. And you'd better have a damn good explanation for it."

"Seriously, Lily - I have no idea what you're talking about."

She threw the slip of parchment at him, which he picked up and promptly read. 

_I give up._

_You win._

_J._

He looked up from the parchment, his expression confused. "Lily, I didn't - "

"Shut up," she hissed, the look on her face so menacing that he was surprised there wasn't smoke coming out of her ears. " _You_ , Potter, will listen to _me_. You do _not_ get to 'give up'. You _will_ not 'give up'. You are not allowed to let me win. You do not have permission to stop whatever game it is that we're playing with each other. Because - because I never want to stop."

And with that, she pulled him up by his collar and pressed her lips against his.

Several hours later, James' friends were not surprised when he jumped them all and declared them all to be the greatest friends ever.


	17. Little Moments

**17\. Little Moments  
**

_James,  
_

_Thanks for the Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks yesterday. Maybe we should do it again sometime._

_Lily_

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

Lily - 

Why sometime when we can go right now? 

J.

~~~**~~*~~**~~~

_James_ ,

_Last night was so much fun... I don't think I've ever laughed so much before in my life. I never knew there were so many secret passageways out of the castle! Meet me at 9 in the common room tonight?_

_Lily_

_P.S. Thank you for my beautiful flowers_. 

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

Lily - 

I had fun too... but don't tell Sirius, or he'll get offended (about the fun and the passageways. Because apparently that's 'our' thing). 

I have a better idea. Bring a cloak and meet me at midnight instead.

J. 

P.S. It was the least I could do. A beautiful flower for a beautiful girl, after all.

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

_James,_

_A moonlit broom ride around the lake?_

_Well, you are surprisingly romantic when you want to be. Very smooth, Mr. Potter - you have my compliments.  
_

_Lily_

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

Lily - 

Only for you. 

J.

P.S. I can't help but notice that you seem to avoiding the issue. I meant what I said last night, you know.

~~~**~~*~~**~~~

Lily?

\- J.

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

_James_ ,

_I know you did._

_Lily_

_P.S. Did I mention that I love you too?_

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

Lily,

More. I love you more.

J.


	18. Addicted

**Author's Note:** Continued on from _Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head_. Song lyric comes from an episode of _Charmed_. No idea what's it's called... just disclaiming it here.

**~~~**~~**~~~**

**18\. Addicted**

_If you were the only girl in the world, and I was the only boy..._

All it takes is a smile, maybe some eye contact, and he's completely lost to her.

He thinks it's kind of pathetic, how he can hold his own against half a dozen Death Eaters but yet when it comes to _her_ , he's just... gone. Completely, fully hers.

She's standing halfway across the room talking to Sirius right now, yet he can still feel her eyes crinkling as if she's watching him as she talks. He feels bare, vulnerable, and completely open to her not-even-fully-there gaze.

Honestly. 

If he were Romeo, and she were Juliet, he would have sprouted mouthfuls of soppy, romantic poetry to her on her balcony at midnight by now.

But he's James, and she's Lily, and they're not living in the age of just-invented flushing toilets. He couldn't recite poetry for the life of him, and he doesn't think she'd want to hear it anyway.

He likes to think that their very complicated relationship is past that.

She calls over to him at that moment and asks for help in her probably nonsensical argument with Sirius. Her green eyes sparkle as she speaks, and her hair shimmers as it tumbles down her back. Her smile is radiant, and she's focused on him. 

He's completely mesmerized.

The things he'd do for this woman.


	19. My Girl

**19\. My Girl  
**

She's standing just before him, her arms folded across her chest with an expression that reads exasperation mixed with amusement. 

He's standing barely a foot away from her, towering over her tiny figure, one hand placed on the wall behind her, his hazel eyes twinkling.

"I'm not the kind of girl that other people - meaning _men_ \- won't take notice of," she's saying at that moment. 

He tugs lightly at a loose coil of her red hair. "I can see that."

"I'm not the kind of girl that meekly accepts everything she is told to do," she continues, looking up at him defiantly.

"I'm not the kind of guy that doles out orders," he shrugs. "Excepting Quidditch, of course."

She rolls her eyes. "I'm not the kind of girl will back down from a fight.'

His 'Lily grin' is now present on his face, the one he saves for her. "And there's me wondering what we've been doing the past seven years."

She narrows her eyes at him. "I'm not the kind of girl that likes knights in shining armour to come and rescue her."

"Good," he replies, still grinning. "I look bloody awful in armour."

Her expression softens for a moment, and the playful moment passes. They're now looking deeply into each other's eyes, as if they can peer through and see what the other is thinking. 

Gently, he caresses her cheek with his free hand. She shivers at his touch. He leans closer to her until all she can see, all she can feel, all she knows, is _him_. 

"You're the kind of girl for me, Lily."


	20. Childlike Innocence

**20\. Childlike Innocence**

Sometimes he can't understand why he likes her so much. For starters:

 - She's never nice to him. 

 - She nicks his quills - his _quills_ \- and parchment so he has nothing to write with, or on, in class.

 - She always takes the last piece of toast, even though she doesn't like toast. 

 - She pushes him off the comfy armchairs in front of the fire and sits down in his place.

\- She always snaps his newly-bought chocolate from Honeydukes and takes half for herself.

Let's face it: if they were five years old and Muggles, they would be pulling the other's hair and pushing them down in the playground by now.

It's only as this thought appears in his mind that he realizes what all the things she does means.

Oh, right.  



	21. Perfect Stranger

**Author's Note:** Continued on from the _Spinning_ series, the most recent of which was _Addicted_ (chapter 18).

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

**21\. Perfect Stranger**

He hasn't seen her in nearly two weeks.

Two long, gruelling, painful weeks.

Not since - not since _that_ night, when he suffered the worst verbal diarrhea of his entire life (and he'd said some pretty stupid things in his lifetime).

It had been such a great, fun night as well. And then... he wrecked it with three simple words.

_I love you_.

An echo of her whispered reply will haunt him for the rest of his life.

_I... I have to go_.

Tom the barkeeper Flooed Sirius ten minutes ago to take him home ('if it'll stop you wiping out my stock of Firewhisky every night'), and he supposes that's him now, approaching from behind him.

But he's getting those chills up his spine. His whole body is tensing up. His stomach is erupting with butterflies every second. The hairs on the back of his arm are standing on end in anticipation.

He's getting _that_ feeling.

She always had a knack of showing up when he least expects it.


	22. I Remember Why

**22\. I Remember Why  
**

James Potter has three loves in his life. 

The first is his friends.

The second is Quidditch.

The third is Lily Evans.

The first two have always gotten along happily hand in hand, most likely due his friends' shared enthusiasm in sports that involved broomsticks, bats, balls, heights and danger. 

But the third was a different story. Love number one (Sirius, Remus, Peter) understands James' love for number two (Quidditch), whilst love number three (Lily)... does not.

He resolves to change that today.

This explains why he and Lily are on the pitch by nine o'clock on a cold November morning, both trying to make sure their fingers don't freeze and stick to the wood of their brooms. He's happily explaining away the rules, until Lily rolls her eyes and he suddenly remembers that whilst she doesn't _like_ Quidditch, she does at least _know_ it.

So they hop onto their brooms and zoom off, spending the morning racing each other, throwing Quaffles at each other, chasing each other and generally embracing the thrill and rush of adrenaline that comes with hovering fifty feet in the air.

It's late afternoon by the time they put their feet back on solid ground. 

"So," he asks her. "What do you think now?"

"I'm thinking of what your friends will say when they find out I beat you racing across the pitch," she giggles, her face flushed as she dances around him happily. "I beat you!" Her eyes sparkle mischievously; her hair whirls around her like a halo, and her smile is electric.

It's in that moment that he falls in love with her all over again.


	23. One Reason

**23\. One Reason  
**

There were a million reasons why they wouldn't work work as a couple.

He was stubborn. She was even more so.

He hated toast. She never ate anything else for breakfast.

His passion in life was Quidditch. She never understood what was wrong with keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground.

He was incurably messy. She was compulsively neat.

He is a mummy's boy. She's daddy's little girl. His mother would never be keen on someone taking her son away, and her father instantly hated any boy with eyes for his daughter.

There are a million and _one_ reasons why they shouldn't ever get together, for fear of causing the Apocalypse.

But they only need one reason why they should.

She tells him first - blunt, frank, and matter-of-factly, just like everything else she says. Lily's not a dawdler.

"I think I'm in love with you." 

He replies in his cheeky, grinning, happy-go-lucky manner. 

"I know. And I think I love you too."

And as it turns out, just one reason is enough.  



	24. Will You Catch Me If I Fall?

**24\. Will You Catch Me If I Fall?**

Last night, the air was thick with fog and mist.

It had been the night that they witnessed their first deaths. Two great men and one wonderful woman, gone before their time. Their only crime was to fight for what they believed in.

It had been a harsh reality. A harsh wake-up call.

_I could lose you tomorrow._  

_(A whisper, into the silence of the room)._

There's no time for a funeral. It's too dangerous now to go anywhere in large groups. Large groups means large targets. Large targets means large chances of attacks. More death.  

_I'll never leave you._

_(A promise, with an uncertain future)._

Tonight, the snow swirls thick and heavy to the ground. It's like a blanket for the world, hiding all its faults and imperfections. A temporary fix. A cover, if you will. A blank canvas, if only for the moment. Just briefly. Just for now.

Maybe just for tonight, they can believe that they'll be okay.


	25. Touch

**Author's Note:** Continued on from chapter 21, _Perfect Stranger_ , and also the next part of the _Spinning_ series.

~~~***~~**~~***~~~

**25\. Touch**

Once upon a time, he was 'that guy'. 

Quidditch Prodigy.

Hogwarts' Golden Boy.

Marauder Extraordinaire.

All titles were rightfully and justifiably capitalised, because that was the truth - he wasn't just being bigheaded, he actually _was_ all of these things.

Then he met someone who had no intention of letting him be anyone, not one of his many titles, not the 'guy that everybody liked'. Somebody that only ever saw him as Just James.

She tore his world - his comfortable, secure world - apart the moment he set eyes on her. She's someone that is simply... something else, and he realises that he's more than happy, more than willing, to go along with her.

Even now... he stares at her as she unconsciously curls up to him in her sleep, her red curls tickling his bare chest. She isn't even awake, and yet merely the memory of her eyes, searing into his from the previous night, is enough to send his mind into overload.

One look sends sparks.

One touch is eternity.


	26. After Time

**Author's Note:** I feel as if these are getting a little depressing and angsty lately. Sorry about this... I'm feeling rather emotional lately, and this is my outlet. In fact, this chapter is a reflection of how I seem to be feeling a lot these days.

**26\. After Time**

She feels surrounded. Trapped. Claustrophobic.

She's always been the girl that was different. Everything about her was always different. And now she's stuck in a sea of people that are excited and squealy and _just the tiniest bit irritating_.

For the first time in her life, she realises she just don't know where to go.

She doesn't know what she wants. She feels as if this is happening all too fast, all this talk of _moving on_ and  _career_ and  _future_ is terrifying her. She supposes it's because she's always felt as if she would have more time. She wants the world to slow down, just for a second, so she can breathe.

The pit of her stomach has that empty, hollow feeling, and she hates it. She hates _this_ , not knowing where to go next. 

She sighes heavily, and glances around the room at her excitable peers, until she finds that a pair of hazel eyes are staring, unblinkingly, at her, in a way that makes her feel bare and vulnerable. 

He understands.

It'll be okay. Because he'll be there to free her.


	27. Breathe

**27\. Breathe**

He feels like he's riding a thousand mile an hour broomstick.

He loves the rush of adrenalin, the dizzying heights, the thrill of the speed.

But - though he'll never admit this - he's a little scared. What if the rush disappears? What if he fell? And worst - what if it never stops?

Suddenly a voice calls to him from across the pitch, and his fear is replaced by something else.

He just needs to look at her, and the world stops turning. 

She's his air. She's his oxygen. She lets him breathe.


	28. Domesticity

**Author's Note:** Next part of the _Spinning_ series, continued on from chapter 25, _Touch_. 

**28\. Domesticity  
**

They're sharing breakfast.

She looks at him for a brief moment as he's chewing his toast, and she flushes prettily when she realises she's been caught looking.

He smirks slightly and offers her some.

She accepts and offers him her newspaper. 

(How domestic of them).

He can feel her eyes on him again. He peers over the paper at her, grinning, but this time, she doesn't look away. There's a burning curiosity and intensity in her eyes that intrigues him.

A question that's been lingering for years is finally asked. 

_Why me?_

He laughs. It's the only thing left to do at this moment.

_Because you're the world._


	29. Could This Be The Day?

**Author's Note:** Only because it's Valentine's Day... 

**29\. Could This Be The Day?**

Every year is the same.

A single red rose on her bed on Valentine's Day.

Every year is the same.

She scoffs and throws it away (or gives it to one of her swooning roommates).

Every year is not this year.

He walks straight up to her, rose in hand, his eyes dark, intense, watching. Watching her. Only her. The looks from their peers go unnoticed; the rest of the world fades to black.

He leans close and whispers in her ear.

_Marry me._   



	30. Broken

**Author's Note:** Well, this one turned out a little longer than I would have liked, and is rather bittersweet, but I like it... 

**30\. Broken  
**

They fought last night.

It hadn't happened in months - but then one of them said something and it all just spilled out. Words, hurtful words that neither of them thought that they could ever say to each other, were thrown as weapons. Wands were drawn. Sirius and Remus had disarmed them promptly, which put an abrupt end to their fight.

She remembers his eyes searing into hers, his final words echoing in her head, before she fled the room. 

_Don't make me chase you anymore, Lily. Unless you're willing to let me catch you._

She sits in front of the fire now, wondering if she's ruined it all. A sweet, wonderful boy - no, _man_ , a great man - and she may have thrown everything they could have had away and because of what?

She hears footsteps approaching, and suddenly he's in front of her. His hair is unkempt, his eyes bloodshot, and he looks as though he hasn't slept all night.

A moment passes.

Then he pulls her up close to him, and covers her mouth with his. Tears spring up in her eyes and threaten to fall as she desperately kisses him back.

There are no more words. They've said them all.


	31. Excuses

**Author's Note:** If you're confused by the end of this... I am too. 

**31\. Excuses  
**

_He's a wonderful man._

She's a great girl.

_He makes me feel safe and secure._

She makes me want to protect her.

_He willingly gives everything that he is to me._

She would do anything for me.

_In so many ways, he's the perfect guy.  
_

She's the type of girl that I always thought I'd marry someday.   


_A man that I can trust, a man that I can come home to, a man that I could have a future with._

Why? She's sweet, and innocent, and ready to give herself - her life to me.   


_He'll always be there._

She'd never leave me.

_But he doesn't make my heart jump, my stomach flip over, or my head fill with dreams and ideas._

She doesn't drive me crazy, or makes me want to be with her every moment of everyday for the rest of my life.

_He doesn't take my breath away._

She doesn't make me lose control.

_But James does._

Only Lily can.


	32. Glow

** Author's Note:  ** To clarify for those of you that are confused about the timeline of these, this one takes place in their Hogwarts days, and is slightly (maybe very) AU. It's extremely bittersweet, to say the least.

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

** 32\. Glow **

He walks down the marble staircase and sees her standing at the bottom, finishing up what appears to be a difficult conversation with - with the one whose name he can't bear to say just yet.

He's suddenly filled with hope. 

He approaches, whilst the other leaves, and he can't help but admire the way that her emerald eyes glow in the candlelight. But as he moves closer, he notices something else about those eyes.

They're filled with tears.

It's a dull blow to his stomach as the hope that filled him moments before is dashed. He knows. He understands. He realises. 

He forces himself to speak.

"It's him, isn't it?"

Her eyes, the ones filled with tears and sadness, meet his.

"Yes."

She's made her choice.

"I'm sorry," she chokes out, her eyes filled with something else. Pain. Remorse.

He shakes his head.

"Don't - don't apologise for falling in love, Lily."

She smiles uncertainly at him, whilst he gives a humourless laugh.

"If he knows what's good for him, he'll never let you go." He pauses for a moment, not knowing if he can say the name, and then continues.

"He's a lucky man, James Potter." 


	33. City Lights

**Author's Note:** This is the last installment of the _Spinning_ series. It's a shame, I liked writing these in a sequence. This takes place post-Hogwarts (in Lily/James years), and the storyline is completely my own nutty invention. 

Listen to the _The City Lights_ by The Umbrellas if you have it handy; it works surprisingly with this chapter, and is the inspiration behind this chapter and title.

~~~**~~*~~**~~~ 

**33\. City Lights  
**

He hears her gasp when she enters their flat that night, and chuckles lowly to himself. After all these years, he's finally able to surprise _her_ for a change.

It's been five weeks, five blurred, hazy weeks. Five weeks since they finally got their act together. Five weeks of bliss and happiness. 

Five weeks to make him realise that he would never want anyone else.

Bathed in the glow of the hundred and fifty or so candles, the streetlights, and her disbelieving expression, he approaches her and kneels.

_Five weeks,_ she manages to croak at him. _We've been together five weeks_.

He laughs lowly. 

_We've been dancing around each other for five_ years, _Lily. I'm ready to stop waiting.  
_

She drops down to the floor in front of him, scanning his face, her eyes darting about in search of any doubt. He smiles, and shakes his head.

_Lily, can't you see? Every decision that I've made, every step that I've taken, everything that I've ever done in my life, is to bring myself closer... to you.  
_

Her eyes glitter with tears as she nods numbly, accpeting the ring he holds out to her.

_I don't deserve you, James Potter. But I will never let you go._


	34. Home

**34\. Home  
**

It's a Saturday afternoon. 

The common room is quiet, for once, with everyone at Hogsmeade or outside in the snow. 

It's just the two of them. 

She's lounging in her usual chair, reading some ridiculously long book. 

He's sitting by her feet, painting her toenails (and not even caring about the mocking comments that are sure to come later from his friends, concerning the whereabouts of his testicles).

He accidentally gets some nail polish onto one of her toes, which she laughs at, wiggling her blue toe and declaring it to be an improvement.

There's only one thought in his head at this moment.

_I'm home._   



	35. Hell Hath No Fury

**Author's Note:** The last chapter was rather... questionable, for lack of a better term. Here's something to make up for it. (And a stolen line from _Twilight_ , because I couldn't resist).  


**35\. Hell Hath No Fury**

It was all her fault, he decided.

She only had to bite her lip, or toss her hair, or sigh in a certain way and it would drive him utterly insane.

He stalked up to her, where she was readng in an armchair - luckily they were alone - to confront her, and he was _livid_ _._

She was surprised, to say the least, to see him approach, and was now watching him fearfully as he paced back and forth in front of her like a deranged lion, occasionally saying something inaudible.

"If you have _any_ idea what you do to me..." he was muttering, more to himself than to her. He looked over at her, and seemed to come to a decision. "I am _so_ going to hell for this."

Then he pulled her flush against him, and proceeded to kiss her furiously.

His mind slowly unclouded, and as soon as it did, he pulled away with a horrified look crossing his face. She was breathless and wild-eyed, watching his face fill with realisation of what he had just done.

"James," she panted, still trying to catch her breath. She looked him in the eye, a seductive, suggestive glint sparkling. "If you're going to hell, you may as well do it thoroughly."


	36. Pseudo Birthday

**36\. Pseudo Birthday  
**

"Happy Birthday!"

Behind him, the common room is... well, _decorated_. Banners cover every inch of the available wall space; balloons are suffocating the portrait over the fireplace; streamers are floating lazily about the room.

She looks at him oddly. "What are you doing, Potter?"

He beams brightly at her, spreading his arms wide to encompass the monstrosity behind him. "Duh! It's your birthday party!"

"My birthday's in January."

His face drops, and Lily catches sight of Sirius Black practically falling over himself  in hysterics. "You're kidding," he deadpans, and she shakes her head.

She watches the information sink in, and then his face contorts in fury. "SIRIUS BLACK!" he yells, and proceeds to wallop his best mate within an inch of his life.

He doesn't notice the tiny smile on Lily's face as she takes in the carefully wrapped pile of presents.

 


	37. Denial

**37\. Denial  
**

She swore it to God.

She swore it to Merlin.

She even swore it to Oprah.

She does not, repeat, does _not_ have any kind of feelings for _James Potter_. Not hatred, not annoyance, not irritation, and _especially_ not love. Not platonic love, not sister-to-brotherly love, and _definitely_ not romantic love. She feels - what was that word Mary used again? - _indifferent_ towards him.

That clenching heart thing when she sees him? Heartburn.

The butterflies in her stomach when he smiles? Indigestion.

The not-being-able-to-function-properly-when-he's-within-five-feet-of-her? Temporary insanity.

(In case you haven't noticed yet, she's in complete and utter denial.)


	38. Flurry

**Author's Note:** Just because it's been a while, and I'm feeling inspired...

(For Vic, who never stops)

**38\. Flurry  
**

"Have you seen my scarf?"

He grins as she rushes into the room, white scarf forgotten in her hand as she flips over every surface she possibly can as she searches.

"What idiot decided that I have to wear something like this at _two_ o'clock? It's hideous, it's orange, and I trip over it every ten seconds. You know, I never really understood the point of these dinners. All we do is sit and gab and gossip about something completely unnecessary and unimportant instead of focusing on what we're _actually_ there for, and we just end up back at the same place the next week for more irrelevant chat. That reminds me, don't forget we have that dinner at Mar- _oof_."

She finally stops as she runs into him, his arms reflexively grabbing her about the waist before she falls. "And what're you smiling about?" she wants to know.

He kisses her deeply in response, so much so she can feel it in her toes and a delicious warmth spreads through her. He finally pulls away and laughs at her adorably bewildered expression.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?"


	39. Effortless Grace

**Author's Note:** I have an exam in approximately two hours and thirty minutes, and I'm supposed to be doing some last-minute studying. This is me procrastinating =D 

(For Jazz, and her horrendous parking skills) 

**39\. Effortless Grace  
**

She watches him as he demonstrates something to his Seeker, effortlessly releasing and recapturing the stolen Snitch to the whoops and cheers of the watching crowd.

It's so unfair that he's so good at everything he does, she thinks.

He understands everything they do in class within two minutes of it being introduced. 

He's so good at flying he could play any position he wanted on the Quidditch team.

He has _everyone_ , even strict Professor McGonagall, eating out of the palm of his hand.   


Most annoyingly, he's so much more _graceful_ than she is, and not cursed with her endless clumsiness.

It's because he's so sure of himself, she realises, catching his eye and smiling.

... 

He falls off his broom. 


End file.
